I know, you’re thinking, “What the hell was that all about? And who (or what) is Seefas Borg?”. Well, either that or “How the hell do I get away from here?”

Cephas is the traditional Aramaic spelling of my forename. It’s pronounced “Kee-fss”, by the way – soft consonants are the downfall of modern English.

The Borg bit is even easier. I have a 4-level thoracic fusion, using two shafts of titanium alloy and 8 screws that hold the middle part of my spine together (right between the shoulder blades).

In addition, I have a Medtronic Intrathecal pump inserted in my chest wall that pumps pure opiates directly into my spine. This helps me stand up every day, though it doesn’t always work as well as you’d expect.

Finally, I have a brand-new Medtronic neural stimulator implanted in my arse. Well, in my upper-arsal region (just above the hip). That sprouts 4 cables, each of which has 4 electrodes that are laid out under my back around the fusion site. (Think of a direct muscle implant for a TENS machine). This helps me to move around each day, though it doesn’t always work as well as you’d expect.

Since I live in constant pain every second of every minute of every hour of every day and night of every week of every month of every year – despite the wonderful machinery I carry with me – I tend to focus on keeping sane and nurturing a sense of astonishment and wonder at the world around me.

I also consider myself one of the luckiest guys on the planet. I’ve been in enough spinal wards and postop procedure rooms and specialist consulting suites to know that what I have is rare and wonderful – some freedom!

I married a really, truly angel (well, she married me, which I still find astounding!), and together we make our way through life.

I’m a devout, committed atheist – there is no god, there is no allah, there is no yahweh, it’s all fairy stories and bullshit (and if you disagree, prove me wrong! See? You can’t. We atheists win by default!). The bible, the qur’an, and the torah are full of lies, deceit, murderous, child-molesting people and deities all of whom seem remarkably identical to the ignorant, patriarchal, homicidal, megalomaniacal, murderous, child-molesting, women-hating, cowardly, hateful, intolerant, stupid, pissant savages who wrote them. (Again, prove me wrong if you disagree. Again, we atheists win by default, and you lose.)

I’m also a committed sceptic – so paranormal bullshit, esp, flying saucers, alien butt-invading gynaecologists, astrology, and all the other diseased and cloying baggage so loved by small minds is anathema to me.

Don’t get me wrong – as an amateur physicist/cosmologist, I would love to see an alien, or proof that some kind of deity exists – it would open up a whole new world of exciting learning and knowledge. But unless and until irrevocable evidence is proven to exist, I’m keeping my mind open – but not so open that my brain falls out!

Finally, like the race of the “Borg” in the Star Trek : Next Generation series, my physical abilities are defined by the technology I use to keep me up and running – but I don’t ever use this as an excuse or limit for my own shortcomings.

I hope this blog is useful, fun, even interesting from time to time. Let me know if it’s not. I promise I’ll ignore you!


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